This has been a difficult year
for our wee family –
our first year
without Dolores.
A year dotted
with lots of tiny “firsts”.

Our first Christmas without Dolores
to cook the ham
and the stuffing
and the pavlova!

Our first holiday
without ringing Dolores
to say that we had arrived
safe and sound.

First birthdays
without that early morning phone call
and Dolores ringing
“Happy birthday to you!”
down the phone line.

So, so many milestones
that are a strange mixture
of happy memories
and sadness.

On top of all that,
or maybe because of all that,
grief has taken its toll
on our health too.

This has been such a challenging year.

But today
I spy a tiny clump of snow drops
nestling in by the roots
of a beautiful copper birch tree.
A lovely surprise –
because it’s only January, you see –
still winter!

And this wee clump of snowdrops
lifts my heart –
a tiny beacon of hope
as this challenging year
draws to an end
and a new one
begins.

© Claire Murray, 15th January 2020