Tonight I go to evening Mass
at St Peter’s the Rock
for the Month’s Mind
of Monseigneur John Murphy.

As I examine my conscience
before praying The Confiteor
my mind fills with memories
of many recent instances
when I have acted in a harsh manner
at home and at work –
times when I have not answered
the Christian call
to love others.

I feel deeply saddened, ashamed
and inadequate.

At the Gospel
we hear the story of the time
when Jesus challenged his disciples
to feed over five thousand people.
Jesus’ closest friends,
His disciples,
were incredulous –
they only had five loaves and two fish –
surely this was asking the impossible?

Yet the little that the disciples had
proved to be more than sufficient
when placed into Jesus’ hands.
And in fact there was actually food left over!

And as I stand listening to this Gospel
I find that I now feel undaunted
by the challenges that I face.
I feel convinced
that even my paltry, meagre best
when presented in faith to Jesus,
is transformed
so that it becomes more than enough
for any situation
that I may find myself in.

And as I stand listening to the Gospel
at the Month’s Mind
of Monseigneur John Murphy
I no longer feel inadequate –
I feel empowered.

©  Claire Murray, 16 September 2016
(Matthew 14:13-21)