Through Your Eyes

Lord,
When you and I look at me
we see two very different people.

I see myself
as weak, flawed,
inadequate, afraid.

Where I see weakness,
you see someone
who has the strength to do
what I need to do
because each day you give to me
the strength that I need.

Where I see myself as flawed,
you see me
as a wonderful human being,
someone who is precious to you,
to be treasured
and who is necessarily flawed
because that is part
of the human blue-print.

Where I see myself as inadequate,
you see me as a real tryer,
someone who is persistent
and determined to forge ahead each day
with your help.

Where I see myself as afraid,
you see me as someone
scarred by a childhood
of constant criticism.
You give to me
the gift of being a child again
in your presence
and you offer me the opportunity
to be filled to overflowing
with your love,
a love that can heal
those scars.

You don’t just focus on the flaws
like I do.
You see all of me,
the whole person
and in doing so
you see me
as a cause for celebration.

Help me, Lord,
to see myself
through your eyes.

© Claire Murray

Ballymacward

Tonight the children
at Ballymacward Primary School
helped me to begin
my preparation for Christmas
as they led the congregation
in their carol service.

Oblivious to all of the grown-ups watching
the children played their instruments
with concentration,
sang with gusto,
recited their poem earnestly,
acted out the Nativity intently.

Totally absorbed in their individual tasks
the children brought a sense of joy
to grown-ups
who grinned and smiled
as they watched the Primary Ones
act out their Nativity play
with solemnity, attention,
and at times a little uncertainty.

I felt I was catching a glimpse
of how My God see us
as we try our hardest to follow Him
and succeed merely
in muddling our way through life.
I had this sense
that these children were absolutely wonderful,
simply for doing their best.

I was reminded
that our best is always good enough
for My God
and that in His eyes
each one of us is every bit as amazing
as the Primary Ones
at Ballymacward.

© Claire Murray

Remember It’s Possible!

This evening my work ended for Christmas
at long last
but as I drove home
I felt subdued,
disappointed by my own performance.

I turned a corner in the road
and in the distance
I caught a glimpse
of my Two Balls,
the “Balls on the Falls”,
lit up by lights
in the dark, winter night sky.

Months ago,
I had watched the Two Balls
as they were slowly constructed
and had thought it impossible
for the smaller ball to slip
inside the bigger one.

I had been there
as a crane slowly lowered
the small ball inside the bigger one.
On that day
I had heard My God say to me,
“Nothing is impossible!”

This evening I felt My God
speak to me again,
gently reminding me,
“Claire, remember!
It’s possible!
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
We’ll do this together.”
And as I drove on
I felt reassured.

How many times
have I turned that corner
and have never seen
my Two Balls?
Yet they’ve been there
all the time.

I simply never thought to look!

© Claire Murray

Answer to a Prayer

In prayer this morning
I said quietly to My God,
“Look, if all these things aren’t possible
that’s okay.”

As I drove down the mountain
at Hannahstown
on my way to work
I saw a sunrise
that was truly spectacular.
The whole of the sky over East Belfast
glowed,
a stunning orange,
like hot coals on a fire.
It was a magnificent, radiant panorama,
a sunrise steeped in “wow-factor”!

I felt that My God
had exploded into my morning
in answer to my quiet prayer,
proclaiming at the top of His voice,
“Claire, it’s all possible!”
It felt as if the sky was celebrating,
broadcasting His presence
to the world,
announcing all of the hope
that My God has to offer
to all of us.

My heart sang within me
as I continued on my journey
to work.

(c) Claire Murray