Angry

One evening
I am very annoyed
about something
and, as bedtime approaches,
my anger is smouldering.
When I settle down to pray
I find myself telling God
how I feel.

I don’t hold back!

Next morning
as I’m getting dressed
an image flashes
into my mind.
It’s our priest
standing at the altar
during Mass
with his back to the people,
turning to the tabernacle
and bowing.

A simple action that is
so respectful,
so reverential.

Oh dear!
I remember my “prayer”
the night before
and I feel ashamed.
I realise
that I had vented my anger
on God
who did so not deserve it!

A short while later
I spend some time
in morning prayer.
My anger has gone –
replaced by penitence now.
And in my morning prayer
I rest in the presence
of Forgiving God.
A God who loves me
completely –
even when I don’t deserve it.

© Claire Murray, 30th April 2022

Tailor-Made Cross

At our Latin Mass,
Fr Boyle teaches us
that each of us has a cross,
tailor-made for us.
Our challenge in life
is to embrace that cross,
rather than trying to avoid it
and, in doing so,
we will find
that Jesus actually carries
most of the weight
for us.

I’m struggling with something
and, as I sit down
to morning prayer,
my heart sinks a little.
But as I remember
Fr Boyle’s words
I realise
that God has crafted this cross,
specially for me.
This is what He wants for me,
right here, right now.

So I bow my head and say,
“Okay, Lord.
I’ll take up this cross
and I’ll offer it up
for the Holy Souls.”
I accept my cross willingly
and, when I do that,
I am stunned to find
that it is nowhere near as heavy
as I had expected.
I am convinced
that Jesus is, indeed,
carrying most of the weight
for me
and that Jesus continues to do this
every single day.

I thank Jesus
for taking most of the weight
of this tailor-made cross
each day.
And I thank Jesus
for Fr Boyle
and for the sound Catholic teaching
that he gives us
every Sunday.

© Claire Murray, 7th November 2025

Prayer Card

I hold in my hand
the profession prayer card
of Sr Marie Placide.

The prayer card depicts
what the naked eye can see.

An empty altar in darkness,
its candles unlit
and a barely discernible figure
of a nun kneeling in prayer
as she gazes into the darkness.
A scene of solitude and blackness.

But as I contemplate the image
over some days
I gradually come to realise
that the prayer card also depicts
what eyes of faith can see.

Jesus hanging on the cross,
blood dripping from His side
into a chalice.
Blood also dripping
from Jesus’s pierced hands
and forming the words
“Graces and Mercy”.

Above Jesus’s head
hovers the Holy Ghost
while God the Father,
arms extended in benediction,
looks down at His son
on the cross.

Beside the cross
stands Our Lady,
Rosary beads in hand
and a lighted candle at her feet.

Light blazes
from Jesus on the cross,
and from God the Father,
the Holy Ghost and Our Lady.

A realization that every altar
is a truly sacred space
even when the chapel is,
to all appearances,
empty
because of the great sacrifice of love
that has been offered there.
A sense that, when I kneel in prayer
before the altar,
I am in a place that is, literally,
awesome.

And as I continue my morning prayer
I say a wee prayer
for Sr Marie Placide
(whom I have never met)
that she may draw ever closer
to Our Lord Jesus Christ
as she lives out her vocation
as an SSPX sister.

© Claire Murray, 11th May 2023

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Praying for Kate

It’s the first day of Spring
and as we set off
on a bright, clear morning
for First Saturday Mass
in Newry,
I’m thinking about Kate,
a friend of mine
who is in hospital.

Our Mass, in this SSPX parish,
is in Latin.

During the Consecration
when the priest raises on high
the precious body of Our Lord,
I ask Our Lord to bless Kate
who’s not able to come to Mass
because she’s in hospital.

When our priest raises the chalice
containing the precious blood of Our Lord,
I ask Our Lord again to bless Kate
who’s not able to come to Mass
because she’s in hospital.

A short while later,
I’m kneeling at the altar
and when I receive Our Blessed Lord
on my tongue,
I ask Our Lord a third time
to bless Kate
who’s not able to come to Mass
because she’s in hospital.

Later, kneeling in prayer
after Communion,
I’m deeply aware
of how privileged I am
to be part of an SSPX parish
where this ancient Latin Mass
is said
and I give thanks for being blessed
with the good health
that has enabled me
to attend Mass this morning.

And as I leave our wee chapel
I place Kate in the care
of Our Blessed Lord,
asking Him to comfort her,
to strengthen her
and to enable her
to return to her beloved Mass
soon.

© Claire Murray, 1st March 2025

In Good Company

About fifty people
crowd into our wee chapel
in a shop basement
in Andersonstown
for Latin Mass
every Sunday.

Today,
as we all kneel
for the Sanctus
at the start of the Consecration,
I find myself wondering
whether each person’s
guardian angel
is kneeling also?

By my reckoning,
that would amount to
over fifty kneeling,
adoring angels!

Isn’t that simply amazing?

And doesn’t it go to show
what good company I’m in
when I attend Mass
in our wee chapel
in the basement
every Sunday?

© Claire Murray, 26th November 2023

Privileged

A word often springs to mind
when I find myself thinking
about our Latin Mass
with the SSPX.
That word is – privileged.

I feel truly privileged
to participate in this Latin Mass
that has been passed down to us
through the centuries.

The same Mass that was celebrated
by the early Church.

The same Mass that was celebrated
in Celtic Ireland
by Saints Patrick, Columba
and Fiachra.

The same Mass that was celebrated
by our ancestors
in Penal times
in the hills of Derry and Inis Eoghain
and in the Sperrin mountains
surrounding Draperstown.

The same Mass celebrated
in the Long Tower chapel
in Derry
when Granny Roddy
was a wee girl
and the chapel had
a clay floor.

A Mass passed down to us
through many centuries,
unchanged,
uncompromised.

A Mass preserved for us
by the SSPX
who direct us
to mould our daily lives
so that they fit around our faith
instead of diluting our faith
to fit comfortably
into modern daily life.

Courageous teaching,
faith without compromise.
Indeed, I feel truly privileged.

© Claire Murray, 7th September 2023

Count Down!

Ten … Nine … Eight … Seven …
Six … Five … Four …
Three … Two … One …
We Have Lift-Off!

I grew up at the time
of the moon-landing –
a time when every child
drew pictures of rockets
and could count-down
from ten.
We knew all about count-downs!

These days at Latin Mass
a different sort of count-down
is taking place –
Septuagesima Sunday …
Sexagesima Sunday …
Quinuagesima Sunday.
This is the count-down
to Easter Sunday
and it can only mean one thing –
we are only days away
from the beginning of Lent!

I can’t possibly say
that Lent has snuck up on me
because there has been
a clear count-down at Sunday Mass
for weeks!
It’s time to decide
what I’ll do for Lent –
no excuses!

Life has been so busy
this last month
and I’ve been snowed-under,
caught-up in building work.
But now it’s time
to lift my eyes heavenward
away from the dirt and the dust
and to consider the state
of my soul
(instead of the state
of the building site
that is our home!)

Time to consider,
“What must I do
to inherit eternal life?”

Septuagesima Sunday …
Sexagesima Sunday …
Quinuagesima Sunday …
The count-down
is on!

© Claire Murray, 11th February 2024

Triple-Decker Mass

One of the tales
that I used to hear
about Daddy and Uncle Hugh
growing up in Derry
was about the triple-decker Mass
which took place
every Christmas morning
at 6 am.

Daddy and Hugh
used to run up
to St Eugene’s Cathedral
where three Masses would be said,
one after the other,
before racing home
to open their Christmas stockings.

As a child, I was appalled –
imagine having to sit through
three Masses
before getting to open
your presents!

But in recent years
I began to view it differently.
A triple-decker Mass???
Wow!
My eyes would light-up
at the thought
and yet my heart would be saddened
by the thought
that triple-decker Masses
are consigned to tales
of long-ago.

But last week
I heard about a special Latin Mass
in Newry –
the Mass of All Souls
which is offered
for the poor souls in Purgatory
who are being cleansed
before entering Heaven.
And not only would one Mass be offered
for the Holy Souls –
but three Masses would be offered!
A triple-decker Mass,
just like Daddy and Hugh
used to attend!

So, with some excitement,
we went to the Mass.

Three times
the priest ascended
the altar steps.

Three times
we heard readings
from Sacred Scripture.

Three times
at the Consecration
bread and wine were transformed
into the body, blood,
soul and divinity
of Jesus.

And three times
at the end of Mass
we heard that beautiful
second Gospel reading –
“In the beginning
was the Word …”

We emerged
from our three Masses
steeped in reverence
and peace,
feeling truly blessed
and privileged
to have been able to attend
such a rare and special Mass.

It’s well over eighty years now
since Daddy and Uncle Hugh
ran to triple-decker Mass
on Christmas morning.
And I’ve just discovered
that triple-decker Masses
are not consigned
to the long-ago –
they still take place in Newry.

Isn’t that just wonderful???

© Claire Murray, 2nd November 2023

God in the Basement

Our wee chapel
is in the basement
of a shop
and Latin Mass is celebrated here
every Sunday.

Today, at the Consecration,
our priest raises the host,
which is now Our Blessed Lord,
and as I bow my head
I find myself thinking,
“God is in the basement!”

I feel stunned.

Almighty God …
here with us …
in a basement …
in Belfast …

W O W ! ! !

I remember words
that I have heard Mother Angelica say
many times –
“Jesus told us ‘I will always be with you’,
and He is – in the Blessed Eucharist.”

God here with us …
every Sunday …
in the basement.

How amazing,
how wonderful
and how humble
is that?

(Aren’t we are so blessed??)

© Claire Murray, 7th October 2023

Something’s Missing

It’s our first time
at the SSPX church of St John
in Dún Laoghaire
to attend a Latin Mass
and before Mass begins
I take a few minutes
to survey my surroundings.

As I do so
the realisation slowly dawns
that our own wee SSPX chapel
in a shop basement
in Belfast
lacks something …
but I just can’t put my finger
on what exactly is missing.

Could it be the organ
with its intricately patterned,
golden pipes?
No, we have a Yamaha keyboard.
It can’t be that.

Could it be the smooth, shiny,
white, marble altar rail?
No, we have wooden prie-dieux
at which we kneel
to receive our Blessed Lord.
It can’t be that.

Could it be the beautiful, arch-shaped
Stations of the Cross
that adorn the walls?
No, we have A4-sized Stations
with a wee, golden cross
at each one.
It can’t be that.

Could it be the oak-beamed ceiling,
high-vaulted and impressive?
No, we have our own steel beams
on our ceiling
which is so low
that Fr Boyle has to duck
in case he bumps his head!
It can’t be that.

Could it be the steps
up to the altar?
We certainly don’t have those!
But, no, I can definitely imagine them
when our priests step forward
with great reverence
to our altar.
I’m pretty sure it’s not that.

What could it be that’s missing?

Then I spot
a large sanctuary lamp
suspended from the ceiling.

Aaahh, now I understand!

When we were wee,
Mammy taught us
that the chapel is God’s house,
where God lives
and that the red sanctuary lamp means
that God is home.

We don’t have a sanctuary lamp
because we don’t have a tabernacle.

With some sadness
I realise
that God doesn’t actually live
in our wee chapel
in Belfast.
He simply visits
every single Sunday
for an hour
during Mass.

And right there and then,
I begin to pray
that, one day,
we may have our own SSPX chapel
in Belfast,
with a tabernacle
for God to live in.

Wouldn’t that be wonderful?

© Claire Murray, 5th August 2023