Lord,
a deep hurt resurfaces unexpectedly,
raw and throbbing,
almost as painful
as the day it was inflicted.
I’m shocked at its intensity
and dismayed –
I thought that I had dealt with this
and I’m not sure
how to handle it.

I am disturbed.

I turn to you, Lord,
asking, “How did you manage to forgive
soldiers who tortured you,
made fun of you
and nailed you to a cross?
How did you manage to forgive
close friends who deserted you
in your hour of need?”

I remember gentle words that you spoke
when you first appeared
to friends who had betrayed you,
“Peace be with you.”
I ask you for the grace to be able to pray
that my attackers may be blessed
with your gift of peace.

I sense
that the key to my recovery
is to focus on you
instead of on my wounded self.

To my relief
I feel my own peace
beginning to return.

© Claire Murray, 24th March 2014

Something strange and unexpected
happened to me –
I felt myself called by My God
and I found myself
powerless to resist.
It was a difficult journey
but I made it
and eventually found myself
in the presence of My God.
But while I was delighted to be there
I began to sense
that something was wrong.

I went to speak to My God.

“I have one question for you”,
said My God,
“Where’s Paul?”

My shoulders slumped.
I looked at the ground
and squirmed.
“Paul’s not here”, I replied.
“Why did Paul not come with you?”
asked My God.
“Because I didn’t ask him”, I replied.

“Claire”,
My God continued,
“I’ve been calling Paul
in just the same way
that I’ve been calling you.
I had really hoped
that you two would come
together”.

Later,
as I prepared to leave,
My God spoke to me, saying
“Claire,
I know how long it took you
to get here.
But don’t worry;
your journey will be much quicker,
happier and easier
with Paul by your side”.

And, you know,
My God was right!

© Claire Murray 16th March 2014

The Shimna River
tumbles down from the Mournes
through Tollymore Forest Park,
racing and rushing,
hurtling over boulders
and under bridges,
beautiful
but almost dizzying to watch.

Sometimes my life feels like that –
one mad rush of busy-ness
comprising lengthy To Do lists
that never seem to get completely done.
I feel as if I’m white water rafting
on the river of life.

This morning My God gifted me
with a pool of tranquillity
along this coursing river of life –
Morning Service at St Ann’s Cathedral.
There, in the company of John and Denise
and in the presence of My God,
I found still waters
and emerged at the end of the service
feeling refreshed, relaxed
and at peace.

I left St Ann’s Cathedral
relishing a deep sense of calm
fully aware that, very soon,
it would be time once more
to rejoin the mad rush of life
just like a tiny twig
being carried headlong
by the Shimna River.

© Claire Murray, 26th Feb 2014