Members of the gay community
use the term
“coming out of the closet”
to describe the process
of revealing their sexual orientation to others
for the first time.

In a way
I am coming out of the closet
in a spiritual sense
and in a musical sense.

I wouldn’t have been a person
to wear my faith
on my sleeve
for fear of being labelled
a “holy Joe”
and I certainly didn’t tell people
that I could sing –
I kept that a secret.

This feels like a different stage
in my life –
a time to be more open,
a time to reach out to others,
a time to share my gifts,
a time to bring a little flavour of God with me
wherever I go.

I feel that I have finally
come out of the closet
in a spiritual sense
and in a musical sense.
And do you know what?
It feels good!

© Claire Murray, 25th November 2017

One winter’s evening
I drive home from work
by a different route.
Headlights from on-coming traffic
make it difficult to discern
the unfamiliar road ahead.
I make an error of judgement
and narrowly avoid driving our car
onto the grass verge.

My heart pounds.

The following evening I discover
that even simple journeys,
when undertaken at night,
transform into
challenging ordeals of concentration.

My confidence is gone.

We go to Sunday Mass in Straw
where we sit behind a mother
and her teenage daughter
who has Downe’s syndrome.
I offer up this Mass
for my new-found fear
of night-driving.

At the end of Mass
the teenage girl turns around.
She is very pretty
and gives me a beaming smile
as she says,
“You’re beautiful!”

Wow!
I’m astounded
at such a spontaneous
and unexpected compliment.

As we drive away from Straw
my heart soars
and I sense My God give me a little nudge,
reminding me
that He will be with me
at all times,
just like he usually is,
especially when
I drive in the dark.

© Claire Murray, 21st November 2017

Lord,
at the start of the year
we put our house on the market,
expecting that it would sell
quickly.
It’s November now
and it still hasn’t sold.
But last night
I offered up my vigil Mass
in thanksgiving
for our new house.

I know
that we haven’t managed
to sell this house yet
and I’m aware
that we have no idea as yet
where our new house will be
or when we will get to buy it.

But I have commended all of this
to your care
and I don’t feel remotely concerned about it.
Instead,
I’m convinced that, right now,
our new house is in the pipeline
and this will all work out
absolutely fine.

And so, Lord,
tonight I give thanks to you
for our new house
knowing that,
wherever it will be,
it’s all in safe hands.

© Claire Murray, 5th November 2017

Every year
Lord Sugar chooses a business associate,
someone to whom he will give
£250,000.
This person will be
Lord Sugar’s apprentice.

Competition is fierce.
Men and women from all parts
of England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales
put their lives on hold
for three months
in order to compete.

Every week
Lord Sugar issues a challenge,
a task to be completed
as part of a group,
along with a few succinct guidelines –
“This task is all about …
innovation and negotiation …
profit and margins …”

The teams disperse,
the competition begins.
Lord Sugar sits back
and observes.

Lord Sugar watches
while candidates get caught up
in the excitement of the task,
getting distracted
and often losing sight
of Lord Sugar’s guidelines.

Lord Sugar evaluates
how each individual candidate performs
within the team
as a sales person or negotiator,
as a leader or a grafter,
as someone who inspires
or as someone who hides away.

At the end of this gruelling process
one lucky candidate
is invited to join Lord Sugar
as his apprentice.

Sometimes I wonder
whether Lord Sugar’s apprentice selection
mirrors our life?

God issues each one of us
with an amazing challenge –
the opportunity to discover Him
and to draw as close to Him
as we possibly can.

God gives us guidance
through His word
in the scriptures,
urging us to love others.

God observes
as we struggle to deal each day
with the nitty-gritty of life,
deeply aware of those times
when we get caught-up
in the material world,
and choose to draw close to money
and the pleasures of life
instead of drawing closer
to Him.

And as we live out our lives
God observes how we interact with others,
looking on with interest to see
whether our actions reflect
love and generosity,
honesty and integrity,
understanding and forgiveness.

At the end of our life
we each stand before God
hoping that we will be lucky enough
to be invited by God
to join Him
in His kingdom.

Okay, it’s not the exact same
as Lord Sugar’s apprentice selection –
but is it really that different?

© Claire Murray, 4th November 2017