I Believe but I don’t Understand

It’s time for the Consecration
at Latin Mass.
The bell has rung,
and the organ has stopped playing.
The priest stands at the altar,
bowed low
as he prays over the host.
The servers and the congregation
all kneel.

Silence all around
as everyone waits.

The bell rings again
and the priest raises his hands
as he holds the body of Christ
on high
for all to see.

I glance up at the body of Christ
before bowing my head
in the very real presence of Jesus,
my God.

In my mind
I say a silent prayer
of welcome
before explaining to Jesus,
“I believe, Lord,
but I don’t understand.”

I’m acutely aware
that I don’t need to understand –
I simply need
to believe.

And I do, indeed, believe
that a miracle takes place
on the altar
during every single Mass
as Jesus becomes truly present
before us.

Whether I’m in a beautiful church
or in a basement
I say a silent prayer of welcome
as I explain to Jesus
that I believe,
even though I don’t understand.

© Claire Murray

The Assumption

I’m offering up the Rosary
for our daughter’s hands.
It’s the Glorious Mysteries today
and we all begin to pray
the Assumption of Our Lady
into Heaven.

As I ponder the Assumption
I find myself thinking
about the sheer impossibility
of bringing the physical body
of Our Lady
to a spiritual place – heaven.

Then I think about
how special Our Lady was to God –
so special
that He didn’t wish
her body to decay
here, on Earth.

The love of Almighty God
for Our Lady,
like a tsunami,
beyond all our comprehension.
Our All-Powerful God
for whom nothing is impossible.

In that instant
I’m convinced
that Our Lady was assumed
body and soul
into Heaven.

And, in that instant,
I’m also convinced
that right now
Our Lady is already at work
healing the hands
of our daughter.

As I gaze at the statue of Our Lady
on the altar,
I know in my heart
that our daughter’s hands
will be fine.

© Claire Murray

God Ran Out of Blue Paint

We have many visitors
to our back garden –
grey squirrels, garden birds
and even, once in a blue moon,
a hedgehog!

But recently
we have had a new
and surprising visitor –
a blue tit …
who isn’t blue!
It looks for all the worlds as if,
when God was making him,
He ran out of blue paint!

So this wee blue tit
is not at all blue
and is instead
pale, dusty yellow, grey …
and beautiful!

Aren’t there so many times
in life
that things just don’t go
according to plan?
I can’t help feeling that,
when this happens,
we need to take a step back
and invite God in
to see what He can do.

Then maybe,
between us and God,
we will come up with something
every bit as innovative, surprising
and beautiful
as our wee blue tit
who isn’t blue.

© Claire Murray, 4th October 2022

You Don’t Go Before Your Time

You don’t go
before your time …

Words that I often hear
from Mammy
when someone dies
very young
or unexpectedly.

You don’t go
before your time …

Words that played
in my head
when my friend died
in a tragic accident
only last year.

You don’t go
before your time …

Words that have been playing
in my head
since hearing
that my friend’s husband
has died
leaving behind
a grown-up son
and a young teenage daughter.

You don’t go
before your time …

Words that played
in my head
constantly
after the recent deaths
of ten men, women
and children
in an explosion
in Creeslough.

You don’t go
before your time …

Words that play
in my head
as I ponder the fact
that Almighty God
in his infinite wisdom
chose to call home
my friend and her husband
at a relatively young stage
of their lives –
a decision that my tiny mind
can’t even begin
to fathom.

You don’t go
before your time …

Words that play around
in my head
as I sit at breakfast,
my mind full
of my friend, her husband
and her two children.
I ponder Mammy’s words
which are supposed to reassure
and yet
I can’t help but feel …
b e w i l d e r e d .

© Claire Murray, 17th October 2022