Here I am, Lord!

Once upon a time
when I was a student
I went on retreat
at my old school,
Thornhill College.
There, I heard the song
“Here I am, Lord”
for the very first time.

This song blew my mind.

Later that evening
I went for a walk
through wasteland
that stretched along
the banks of the Foyle.
As I perched on a boulder
overlooking the huge expanse
of the river
and the recently-constructed
Foyle Bridge,
the song “Here I am, Lord”
was playing constantly
in my head.

This is the song
of a broken-hearted God
who has been rejected by His people
and who yearns
for their return.
In the song
God asks the question,
“Who will bear my light to them?
Whom shall I send?”

And sitting there on a rock,
gazing across the Foyle
as dusk fell,
I sang the song aloud.
That song touched my soul
and my heart responded
to that call,
silently echoing the chorus
of the song –
“Here I am, Lord!”

Today, I find myself
along that same stretch
of the Foyle.
It has been transformed
over the years
from a wasteland
into a wildlife sanctuary.
And I find myself
singing the song aloud again.

So much has happened
in almost forty years.
I completed my studies,
married the man I love,
raised a family
and taught for many years
before finally retiring.

All those years ago
I responded to God’s call,
singing, “Here I am, Lord!”
And God, in turn,
has responded
by walking at my side
every single day
since then.

I feel that I have been called
to walk hand in hand
with God –
isn’t that wonderful?
And isn’t God amazing?

© Claire Murray, 7th September 2023

Couldn’t Leave Jesus All Alone

Many, many years ago
my Daddy’s big brother, Patsy,
died of TB.
He was only 21.

Patsy had tremendous faith.

One day
Patsy went for a walk
and was away much longer
than expected.

On his return
his anxious Mammy asked,
“Where were you, son?”
“I called into Pennyburn chapel
to make a visit,”
explained Patsy,
“and I didn’t like to leave
until someone else came in.
I didn’t want to leave Jesus
all alone.”

Something similar
happened to me today.
I called into Pennyburn chapel
with Daddy
to get some holy water.
I smiled to myself
when I entered the chapel
because the Blessed Sacrament
was exposed on the altar.
Then I noticed that,
apart from Daddy and me,
the chapel was deserted.

Jesus had been in here
on the altar
all alone.

My heart sank at the thought.

As I genuflected on my way out,
I made a silent promise,
“I’ll be back soon.
I can’t leave you here
all alone.”

So I drove Daddy home
and ten minutes later
I was back in Pennyburn chapel.

To my delight
I saw half a dozen people
kneeling in prayer.

Jesus wasn’t all alone
after all!

But, you know,
I’m glad I returned
because I couldn’t really
leave Jesus all alone –
now could I?

© Claire Murray, 6th September 2023