One day, when I was wee,
Mammy found me sitting
at the foot of the stairs
doing absolutely nothing.
“What’s wrong, Claire?”
she asked.
“I’m sad”, came my doleful reply.
“Why are you sad?” asked Mammy.
“I don’t know”, I replied.
“I’m just sad”.
To this day,
I have absolutely no idea
what I felt sad about!
Over fifty years later
I feel just like my younger self.
I’m sad.
This time,
I know exactly
what I’m sad about
but, to be honest,
that’s not much consolation.
Yesterday
we saw a rat
around our bird feeder
and we have had
to take the decision
to stop feeding
all of our wee birds.
Bull finches and gold finches,
blue tits and long-tailed tits,
dunnocks and sparrows,
siskins and blackcaps.
These all flock to the feeder
in our garden,
bringing such joy to us
as we wash the dishes,
eat dinner
or drink our Elevenses
in the garden.
This morning
as I sit in prayer,
I try to figure out
a Catholic response
to losing our wee birds.
I remember something
that Mother Angelica said –
“Never let your suffering
go to waste!”
And I resolve
to do just that.
Every time I miss the antics
of our colourful wee birds,
I’ll offer that sadness
up to God.
(I’m convinced
that God will be able
to do something positive
with that sadness).
Also,
I give thanks to God
for our good neighbour
who will continue
to feed those wee birds
from his own garden,
so they won’t go hungry.
And as I finish my morning prayer
I’m already beginning to feel
a little less sad.
Isn’t God good?
© Claire Murray, 7th June 2024