Lord,
today I get the impression
that medical staff are bracing themselves
for the difficulties
surrounding the treatment of Danny’s tumour
which continues to grow
inexorably.

Today, Danny hears disturbing news
about the progress of his tumour.
Dolores is upset
but Danny is totally unperturbed,
receiving bad news
without a flinch.

As I chat away to Danny
about cats, hedges
and spuds from Dungiven,
I am filled with amazement
and admiration
for a man of tremendous courage
and faith
who has chosen to live life
rather than counting down to death.

I have a sense
that here is a man
who is being held tenderly
in the palm of God’s hand
and I say a quick prayer of thanksgiving
to My God
for taking such exceptional care
of Danny,
whom I love dearly.

© Claire Murray, 24th August 2013

Lord,
Danny and Dolores headed off gallivanting today,
their destination,
a long-awaited shopping trip to Newry.

Danny and Dolores’s first text announced their arrival
at the Europa Bus Station.
Another text informed us
that Danny and Dolores were now enjoying lunch
in The Shelbourne.
A final text arrived to say
that Danny and Dolores were now back home
safe and sound.

When we visited after work
Danny and Dolores were grinning
from ear to ear.
Tales were told about
the luxurious bus,
a friendly bus driver,
a delightful lunch at The Shelbourne,
and, of course,
seasoned shoppers’ assessments
of Newry’s shops!

Danny and Dolores had dandered around Newry,
enjoying its shops, its food
and each other’s company!
Danny and Dolores had had a ball
and had returned from their excursion
tired, excited and satisfied.

Only two weeks ago
the pain and tiredness caused by Danny’s illness
had forced him to shelve any plans
for a shopping trip to Newry.
For us, Danny feeling well enough
to undertake that journey
was simply the height of luxury.

Lord,
in the darkness of Danny’s illness
today stood out as a real jewel of a day,
a cause for celebration
and for giving thanks.
Danny and Dolores’s gallivanting today
felt like a very special gift from you.

T H A N K Y O U, L O R D ! ! !

© Claire Murray, 21st November 2013

Lord,
I can see that Danny is gradually shrinking.
Danny is growing thinner
and his face looks smaller.
His sandy hair now has to be kept cropped short
and Danny stoops slightly
in an effort to relieve the pain
caused by his tumour.

Danny feels the cold
when other people don’t.
He no longer has the energy
to walk to the bus stop
up on the main road.
Danny sleeps more.

And as Danny shrinks
his tumour grows
and his pain increases.

And yet, Lord,
despite Danny’s body being attacked by cancer,
his spirit remains intact
and his trust in You never falters.
Danny has a deep, deep faith
that he draws on every day.

Lord, walk with Danny
as he makes his difficult journey
quietly and uncomplainingly.
Surround Danny with Your love.
Be gentle with Danny
and help him not to be afraid
and when the time comes
for Danny to complete his journey
remind him gently
that you are right by his side.

© Claire Murray, 21st December 2013

In childhood
I watched adverts on TV
in which children eagerly devoured bowls
of porridge-like cereal,
donned warm coats and hats
and raced out of the house
on a dull winter’s morning
on their way to school.
Each child was surrounded
by a bright orange glow
and appeared to be oblivious to the cold.
These children had eaten Ready Brek!

In adulthood
I watch Danny every day
as he faces up to his cancer
with resilience, acceptance
and a sense of humour.
Danny doesn’t take Ready Brek
for his breakfast
but he is nourished every day
by his faith.

I have a sense
that Danny spends every day
in the company of Jesus
who tends to him
in the most gentle of ways,
cocooning him,
protecting him,
keeping him safe.

I’m convinced
that Danny’s faith forms
a protective barrier around him
and shields him from much of the anguish
that cancer can bring.

Danny’s faith is like Danny’s own spiritual Ready Brek.

© Claire Murray, 15th January 2014

On my birthday
a friend asks me
whether this is a special birthday.
“No, it’s not,” I reply
because, officially, it isn’t.
But unofficially,
this is a special birthday
for one very important reason –
Danny is still here
to enjoy it with me.

Time with Danny
is very precious right now
and being able to call with Danny and Dolores
on my birthday
is a luxury
that I fully intend to savour.

As our wee family lives each day
immersed in Danny’s illness,
My God gifts us
with golden moments,
delightful, happy memories to cherish
such as this birthday.

Today I give thanks to My God
for a very special birthday
shared with a very special person –
Danny.

© Claire Murray, 28th March 2014

Do Not Be Afraid
Lord,
entering the church at Hannahstown
for the Easter Sunday vigil Mass,
all is in darkness.
The tabernacle lies wide open
and empty.
The altar is bare.

But expectancy is in the air.

One by one,
lighted candles spread light
throughout the entire church.

Hope is in the air.

At the Gospel,
I sense a lightness of heart
and relief
as the two Marys reach the tomb
and an angel appears to tell them
that Jesus is risen.

Deep sorrow and despair
are replaced by elation.
Mourning and lamenting
are replaced by celebration.

Then the two Marys meet you in person
and their joy is complete.
You hasten to reassure them,
saying, “Do not be afraid.”

Lord,
please bless our wee family
this Easter season.
When life gets tough,
hasten to reassure us.

Remind us
of the hope and the promise of new life
that your Resurrection brings.

Remind us
that death is not the end.

Remind us
not to be afraid.

(Matthew, 28: 1-10)

© Claire Murray, 20th April 2014

Lord,
when you were going through
your Agony in the Garden,
one of your followers drew his sword
and cut off the right ear
of a high priest’s servant.
That servant’s name was Malchus.
Saint Luke writes
that you healed Malchus’s ear.
I wonder what became of Malchus
who saw only gentleness and compassion
in the eyes of a man
whose death he sought?

Lord,
Danny is going through
his own personal Agony in the Garden,
preparing himself
for what must be.
Like Malchus,
Danny may lose his right ear.
If that must happen, Lord,
please heal and comfort Danny.
Let Danny see in your eyes
the same gentleness and compassion
that you showed to Malchus.

© Claire Murray, 18th April 2014

Lord,
sometimes I feel
that I’m living in two worlds –
this ordinary one
where I live my day to day life
and the spiritual one
where you live.
These two worlds
aren’t entirely separate –
heaven meets earth
through people who try their best
to place God
at the centre of their lives.

That’s how I see Danny.
In this physical world
Danny is stooped, weary
and in pain.
Danny performs the practicalities
of ordinary, everyday life –
visits to the doctor,
trips into town,
tidying up his home with Dolores,
joking with his grandchildren.

Yet I have a sense
that while I see Danny
in the company of our family,
he is living each day
in the presence of his God.

Right now,
Danny’s life straddles two worlds
and I suspect that every day
each member of our family
makes a conscious decision
to simply enjoy Danny’s company
while he is still with us
in this world.

© Claire Murray, 2nd March 2014

Lord,
today at Mass
our folkgroup sang the psalm
and in the response we sang,
“Do not be afraid
for I have redeemed you.
I have called you by your name.
You are mine.”

I had a sense
that you were speaking to me
through that psalm,
about Danny’s illness,
saying to me
“I have called Danny by name.
He is mine.”

I sensed
that you are preparing me
for what lies ahead.
In his illness,
you are calling Danny
and Danny is answering your call.
I sensed your reassurance
that Danny is in safe hands
. . . and that so am I.

© Claire Murray, 2nd March 2014

Lord,
Danny and Dolores headed off gallivanting today,
their destination,
a long-awaited shopping trip to Newry.

Danny and Dolores’s first text announced their arrival
at the Europa Bus Station.
Another text informed us
that Danny and Dolores were now enjoying lunch
in The Shelbourne.
A final text arrived to say
that Danny and Dolores were now back home
safe and sound.

When we visited after work
Danny and Dolores were grinning
from ear to ear.
Tales were told about
the luxurious bus,
a friendly bus driver,
a delightful lunch at The Shelbourne,
and, of course,
seasoned shoppers’ assessments
of Newry’s shops!

Danny and Dolores had dandered around Newry,
enjoying its shops, its food
and each other’s company!
Danny and Dolores had had a ball
and had returned from their excursion
tired, excited and satisfied.

Only two weeks ago
the pain and tiredness caused by Danny’s illness
had forced him to shelve any plans
for a shopping trip to Newry.
For us, Danny feeling well enough
to undertake that journey
was simply the height of luxury.

Lord,
in the darkness of Danny’s illness
today stood out as a real jewel of a day,
a cause for celebration
and for giving thanks.
Danny and Dolores’s gallivanting today
felt like a very special gift from you.

T H A N K Y O U, L O R D ! ! !

© Claire Murray