Category Archives: Singing

Mary O’Hara

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I’m reading Mary O’Hara’s autobiography,
“Travels With My Harp”
because someone on Radio 4 mentioned
that Mary O’Hara sings
because she views her voice
as being a gift from God.

I’ve been searching for guidance
on singing for God
and, preferably,
singing without fear.

But I haven’t found that.
Instead I’ve found
a woman of tremendous faith,
a woman with many gifts,
a woman of deep sorrow
who was blessed with an amazing voice
and yet who approached each performance
with a sense of dread.

I feel that I’ve been searching
in the wrong place.
I sense
that I won’t find the answer
in a book –
I need to search
within.

© Claire Murray, 23rd April 2019

Stormzy

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I would love to meet Stormzy.
I hear all about him
from my student daughter, Niamh.
Stormzy is a young rapper from London.
He performs on stage
with passion and energy,
speaking a language
that London youth understand
perfectly.

And Stormzy is a man of faith.

Tonight, at vigil Mass,
we join with the angels,
praising God and singing,
“Hosanna in the highest!”

But, to be honest,
these words don’t really mean a lot to me.
These aren’t my words –
they feel like the words of angels.
And I find myself thinking about Stormzy.

I’m convinced
that Stormzy’s song to God
would be absolutely bursting with praise
but I can’t imagine him saying
“Hosanna in the highest!”
What would Stormzy sing
instead?

I would love to meet Stormzy
so that I could ask him
to put a modern, youthful twist
on these ancient words of praise.
Then, I could join with the angels
in praising God
using a language
that I can understand.

© Claire Murray, 12th November 2017

Singing in my Head

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I’ve got the cold.
My throat is sore
and I can’t sing.
Luckily, I can still play the guitar
and so today
I stand with our folk group
as we provide the music
for Sunday morning Mass.

The time comes
for the Our Father,
a song that I particularly love.
Today I can’t sing aloud
but as the folk group and the congregation
all sing aloud
I find myself grinning in delight
and singing along in my head.

And I find myself wondering –
does God hear me
when I sing in my head?
And does my silent song, maybe,
make him smile?

© Claire Murray, 22nd January 2017

Harmony

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Our society in Northern Ireland
is divided in many ways –
by income and occupation,
by age and health,
by where we live
and, of course,
by religion and politics.

But on Sunday evening,
a group of us came together
as part of the West Belfast Festival
to worship Our God
through music and song.

People came from many churches –
Catholic, Church of Ireland and Methodist.
People came from many parts of Belfast
with many singing styles
and playing many different instruments.
But most importantly,
people came together
with open minds
and with open hearts.

On Sunday evening,
at St Agnes’s church,
against a political background
of protests about flags and parades
a group of us came together
and set aside our differences
to focus on the faith that we have in common
and we united to sing in beautiful harmony
and to give praise to Our God.

© Claire Murray

Disappointed

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I am a child again,
sitting alone
at the foot of the stairs.
Jesus sits down beside me,
puts his arm around me
and I snuggle into him.
“Claire, what’s wrong?” Jesus asks.
“Things didn’t turn out yesterday
the way that I wanted.
I’m disappointed
and I feel
that I let people down.
They deserve better”, I reply.

We sit in silence
for a while.

“Tell me,” says Jesus,
“did you do your best?”
I nod.
“Did you genuinely try to do the will
Of Our Daddy?”
I nod.
“And has it taught you anything?”

I reply,
“It’s made me realise
that it’s important to slow down,
and to prepare practically
and prayerfully.”

Jesus replies,
“So long as you genuinely try
to do the will of Our Daddy,
I take your work,
complete with its flaws
and transform it
into something beautiful.
So don’t worry.
There were lessons
that you needed to learn.
You have learned them now.
Remember those lessons
and move on.
But for now, rest here for a while
with me.”

I snuggle into Jesus
and fall asleep.

© Claire Murray

Wee Bit Cheeky!

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I did something yesterday
that was just a wee bit cheeky!
It was my birthday
and I called into St Malachy’s.
And as I sat there
I suddenly found myself thinking,
“I wonder if I could ask God
for a birthday present?”

I reasoned that
God seems to listen to saints
in a special way
on their feast days,
so maybe He might listen to me
in a special way
on my birthday!
Especially since this wasn’t just
an ordinary week,
this was our Parish Mission week!
I reckoned that maybe
the odds were stacked
in my favour!

You see, I long to sing for God
without fear
but for me trying to do that
is like reaching for the stars.
Most of the time
it just feels impossible
but on a few rare, precious occasions
I have managed to do it.

And so I prayed,
“Lord, can you help me
to sing without fear?
I don’t even know
what sort of help I need
I just know
that I need help!”

I left St Malachy’s
with this conviction
that singing without fear
was something that we (God and I)
really could achieve together.

That evening, at our Parish Mission
not only did I sing
but I actually sang up on the altar
where people could see me!
And I was only
a wee bit scared.

This evening I sang again at our Parish Mission
and I wasn’t afraid
and I thought,
“Wow! Imagine me not being afraid!
That’s my birthday present from God!
Isn’t He great?”

You see, God and I
make a fantastic team
and we can do amazing things
when we’re together.

© Claire Murray

Cormorant

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Yesterday,
as I walked to work,
I passed a cormorant
in the Lagan.

I watched as he passed me by,
semi-submerged in the water
and looking as if he was in danger
of sinking.

I thought to myself,
“He knows his place
in the world!”

I thought of myself
and about how I feel called
to share my faith with people
through singing
and through writing.

I thought about
how difficult I find it
to sing in front of people.

I thought to myself,
“I know my place in the world …
… but I’m afraid to take it!”

Then My God whispered to me,
“Claire,
you’re going about this all wrong.
Don’t pray
that you sing without fear.
Instead,
pray that when you sing,
my will shall be done”.

At once I felt at peace.

© Claire Murray

Transfiguration

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Lord,
at the Transfiguration
you let your glory be seen
by a few close friends
who saw you
as you really are –
no more hiding.

I wonder
whether that is what
you are calling me to do –
to stop hiding,
to be myself,
not to be afraid
to let others see
who I really am
when I sing
and when I write?

So that in my own small way
when I sing
and when I write
I give witness to you?

© Claire Murray

Claire with the Guitar

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Nuala with the Hula stands confidently
at the end of Queen’s Bridge,
proudly presenting her hula hoop
to someone I can’t see.

Each day as I pass her
on my way to work
I see a promise that one day
I, too, will stand tall and confident
and that on that day
I will sing without fear.
Each day when I see Nuala with the Hula
it feels possible, somehow,
and each day I smile at the thought.

Today it happened.
It felt like time to stop hiding.
It felt like time to stand
in full view of people
without trying to hide
the deep longing that I have for God.
It felt like time to stop worrying
about what people might think.
It felt like time to unashamedly
simply be myself.

So, today,
Claire with the Guitar stood confidently
on the balcony at Hannahstown
in the company of friends
and sang without fear.

It felt good!

(c) Claire Murray

In Conversation With God

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Lord,
did you pick the right person?
Do you not think
that maybe
you should have picked
someone else?
A performer?
An extrovert?
Someone less self-conscious
than me?

Lord,
I’m not a performer.
I get nervous
when I get up to sing
in front of people.
I’m a weak person,
very weak!
I’ve been singing at Mass
for two years now
and I still find it difficult.
Is there not someone else?
Have you picked
the wrong person?

Claire,
I chose you a long time ago.
Before time even began
I chose you to be mine
and every day of your life
I choose you all over again.

I’m not looking for a performer.
I just want someone who loves me
and who tries her best
to put me at the centre
of everything she does.

I want someone
who doesn’t consider
that her voice
is something to be proud of
because she recognises
that her voice
is a gift from me.

I want someone who realises
that every time she has managed
to sing without fear
she was receiving another gift from me.

I don’t want a performer.
I want someone
with love in her heart
to sing about the God of love.
You say that you like
to sing love songs and ballads.
Well, I want you to sing
love songs and ballads
about us.

Claire,
I haven’t chosen the wrong person.
Trust me.
Be patient with yourself
and be patient with me.
I’ll send you all of the help
that you need.
I promise!

© Claire Murray