Tonight at vigil Mass
we sing a version of the “Alleluia”
that I have sung
many, many times before.
This “Alleluia” proclaims,
“Jesus Christ, our Lord, is here!”

I’ve heard these words
so many times before
and, to be honest,
I’ve never paid much attention to them.
But tonight, for some reason,
they strike home,
leaving me filled
with joy and wonder.
These words leave me thinking,
“Wow! Jesus is here tonight!”

And, of course,
Jesus is here,
just as he has been present
at every single Mass
that I have ever attended
even if I have
on many occasions
taken his presence for granted.

Thank you, Lord,
for opening my ears and my heart tonight
to the very real presence of Jesus
in tonight’s Mass.

Thank you, Lord,
for helping me tonight
not to take the presence of Jesus
for granted.

Thank you, Lord,
for using the gift of music tonight
to remind me
that Jesus is here
(as usual!)

© Claire Murray, 30th September 2017

This year’s return to work
after a six week summer break
feels like a struggle
and I’m surprised –
I usually return to work
in a positive frame of mind
feeling restored, relaxed,
full of energy
and ready to face the year to come.
But not this year
and I’m puzzled –
this isn’t like me!

And I think that I know why.
The summer weather has been appalling,
even by Irish standards;
it has simply rained and rained
and rained.
By the end of summer
I feel cheated
and, I conclude,
sun-deprived.

Thankfully
our summer bank holiday weekend arrives
and we head off to Inis Eoghain
where, to our delight, the sun shines!
Such a luxury
after a summer of rain!

We walk along quiet country roads at Burt,
explore Tullagh Bay
and clamber over stoney paths
at Malin Head.
Finally, at sun-down,
we watch the summer sky darken
as a dolphin cavorts gracefully
in still, shimmering waters
at Culdaff.

It’s a perfect end
to an imperfect summer
and now, as we drive home,
I finally feel refreshed
and I am ready face
the year ahead.

© Claire Murray, 28th September 2017

The Incredible Hulk
paid an unwelcome visit
to our home last week.
He sat in the living room,
a huge, silent, seething
mountain of rage.

Nobody really dared
to talk to him
and the entire family spent the evening
walking on egg shells.

I can’t account for it.
I don’t know why an annoyance
made me snap,
transforming me
from an easy-going, cheerful Mammy
into a sullen, seething,
monster of a Mammy.

I don’t know why
my heart felt so heavy,
why the world suddenly became
such a dark, hopeless place.

For those few hours
I felt helpless,
trapped by my anger,
unable to shake it off.

By the next morning
my anger had passed.
I felt such a hypocrite,
spending time in prayer
and then inflicting this Incredible Hulk
on my family.
I felt ashamed
of what I had put my husband through
and even more ashamed
of the example I had set
for my children.

I apologised to my family
for putting them through
this ordeal.

Lord,
help me to deal with
the annoyances and irritations of life.
Help me to discuss them
instead of going silent
and bottling them up.
I never again want to inflict
this Incredible Hulk
on my family.

Life’s too short for that.

© Claire Murray, 16th September 2017

I’m in the folk group at St Agnes’.
Sometimes during Mass I find
there’s so much to do musically,
so much to organise,
so much to concentrate on
that I get distracted from the Mass;
Mass comes to an end
and I realise, to my disappointment,
that my focus has been on my music
instead of being on My God.

Tonight, before Mass begins,
I fire a quick prayer up to My God –
“Lord,
help me to be aware of you tonight
during Mass!”

Tonight, as we sing,
I sense My God speaking to me
through the music,
telling me
that He is by my side,
urging me
to be still and know that He is God.

As Mass comes to an end
I realise
that my prayer has been answered.
I sense that Our God has been here tonight,
with our folk group
during this vigil Mass
and that, tonight,
music has been my prayer.

Lord,
you always manage to meet me
exactly where I am.
Thank you for coming to me tonight
through your wonderful gift
of music!

© Claire Murray, 9th September 2017